


Sommer Love and Winter Times

by RENielsen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1D as the seasons, Autumn Liam, Enjoy!, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nouis, Spring Harry, Summer Louis, Supernatural Elements, Talking Animals, Winter Niall, alternative universe, talking plants, this is sadder than I intended bwah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8298176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RENielsen/pseuds/RENielsen
Summary: Louis doesn’t ask him what the most important thing is, and instead just dwells on the fact that maybe Niall won’t survive long enough to see another year. Maybe he won’t even survive long enough to come back to Louis, and he honestly doesn’t know how to handle that thought. 
  “Don’t say that. You’ll be alright again soon, and you’ll experience so many more winters. Okay?”
  “Okay,” he just agrees, but it doesn’t sound convincing to either of them. 
  “Okay,” Louis repeats, closing his eyes so Niall won’t see right through him. He doesn’t want it to become winter, doesn’t want to ever let Niall go again.
or the one where Louis has never thought twice about the winter season, but then one day finds out something that changes everything. Most of all Louis' feelings for Niall.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fic inspired by [this](http://since-he-was-eighteen.tumblr.com/post/142751419606/one-direction-as-seasons) post

Each year consists of three-hundred and sixty-five days, fifty-two weeks, twelve months and four seasons. That adds up to three months to each season, which means that three months every year Louis is able to shine as bright as ever before. Three months which equals to just about thirteen weeks or ninety-two days. Louis likes summer the most, but he might be biased considered the fact that he’s summer itself.

If you asked a human what summer is they’d without doubt answer a season, and it’s not that it as such is a wrong answer, but there’s so much more to summer than just a season. That’s where he comes into the picture. Without him there, summer will just be a memory, because the only reason summer happens is because of him, just as well as spring wouldn’t happen without Harry, that autumn wouldn’t be a thing without Liam and that winter would never see the light of the day without Niall.

It wouldn’t be wrong to call summer a season, because after all that’s what it is. That’s what _he_ is and that’s what the three other boys are. They’re all seasons, made by Mother Earth to take care of her creation. Spring promises new beginnings, summer is the essence of life, autumn is the last goodbye, and winter makes it all to memories. 

His period of reign is almost over now though. The first days of September is here, but he still fights his hardest to stay a little longer. He does it every year, and he knows Liam is going to scold him as soon as they cross each other, but he just doesn’t _want_ to let go yet. Earth is absolutely amazing, and he always feels so lonely crossing to the other side, where he has to wait another nine months to once again be let free.

He really doesn’t think it’s fair how Mother Earth decided they should work. It doesn’t seem fair that he only got three months every year, but has to sit around waiting for nine. Why they couldn’t all just be down on Earth at the same time and all year around it beyond him. He knows for a fact that if they fight hard enough then they can still change things down on Earth from where they are, and even on the coldest day Louis can force through a bit of sunshine, just as Liam can ruin his sunny days by making it rain for hours.

They’re able to affect it all anyway, so Louis really doesn’t understand why he’s forced to stay in the land in-between.

Louis doesn’t want to go, but Liam is pushing harder and harder for each passing minute to switch places so he’s able to enjoy his time among the humans.  He can feel it, though, when his last grip on Earth is taken away from him, and how he’s being forced away from the only place he really loves being.

“Let go,” Liam begs him, as they both fight their hardest.

“But it’s not fair,” Louis whines, pushing just a tiny bit more.

“Neither is it to deny me my time. You would hate Harry if he did that to you,” he gives back in return, and Louis knows he’s right. He’d despise Harry more than anything in the world if he tried to do what Louis is doing to Liam right now, so he stops pushing and lets Liam pass by without any more fighting.

Liam shows his gratitude by gently letting his fingers run over Louis’ cheeks and in the process brush away the drops of tears he can’t completely hold back. In a way it almost hurts having to give up on Earth, as the planet is basically the only thing keeping him alive. In the land in-between they’re more dormant than anything else, not really alive but not quite dead either. Louis hates the feeling of it with every fibre in his body.

For a long, long time Louis is moving in a blur. It’s hard crossing the worlds, even for creatures like him there was created to do it all the time. If he had been human he’s not sure he had survived the trip, but since he’s basically impossible to kill, then he just feels the dizziness settle inside him, as he tumbles down on the ground in the sunny meadow he can call home three fourths of each year.

 _When are you finally gonna practice your landing? You’ve been falling like that for centuries now_ , a sunflower huffs at him, and Louis can almost see how it’d be rolling it’s eyes at him if it had any. Immediately the surrounding flowers begins chipping in, adding their own sly comments on how ungracefully he has a tendency to arrive.

“Shut up,” he grumbles, really not in the mood to listen to the cocky flowers. He hates flowers, as they’ve got too much of a mouth on them, and that not in a way Louis appreciates. Like he got nothing but respect for someone who’s able to give him back as good as he gives them, but the flowers just got a tendency to be directly evil. Appearances are deceptive, as he’d like to say. Flowers can be the prettiest things ever, but their minds are as rotten as anything Louis has ever encountered before. Louis personally likes the trees better, but that could probably have something to do with the fact that the trees never minds listening to him complaining for hours each day. Trees are very goodhearted creatures.

 _Lovely to see you back, Loubear,_ it comes to him next in a low whisper. He can’t help but crack a smile to where he knows the voice comes from. The old oak in the middle of his meadow is without doubt the only thing on this side that’ll ever be able to make him smile without it being fake. The oak has been there as long as he has, which in other words just as well could be forever.

Louis has this theory that maybe the oak has some part to play when he crosses over, because he has talked with both Liam and Harry about it and both of them has got one as well in their part of in-between. He’s never asked, but if he did he’s quite sure Niall would tell him the same thing too. He thinks that maybe the trees are what brings them back after the time is up, but even if it really is like that, then the oak is still his only real friend here.

He’d like to say that the other seasons is his friends too, but in reality he hasn’t really had much to do with them. He meets both Harry and Liam each year when they pass each other, and sometimes if they feel extra lonely they’ll meet up and talk for a while, but that’s basically it. To be honest Louis can’t even remember when he last saw Niall, but to say a three to four hundred years ago probably wouldn’t be too far off. It’s not per se that he has anything against Niall, but the season is just so damn cold, and he has never really had any excuse to seek him out. Liam and Harry is always closer, and they’re the ones he’s felt most comfortable with.

He doesn’t exactly hurry as he moves towards the oak, but he does it with determination and pretty much ignores everything else on his way over there.

“I missed you,” he mutters as soon as he’s able to crash down on the ground by the big roots of the tree.

_I missed you too. It’s good to have you home. Now tell me all about it. Was it as good as you remembered?_

It’d be a lie to say that he hesitates as much as a second as he throws himself into a detailed description of every single minute he spent on Earth. He tells the oak about the hot weather and tanning on the beach, about eating ice cream with the humans and having a laugh, about surfing on the highest waves he could possibly find and scream in delight whenever he was knocked over. When he’s done telling every little detail, he starts over and tells it all again, because why the fuck not? The oak enjoys listening to him talk and Louis got nothing better to do. Besides the longer he can keep talking, the longer he can pretend he’s still there and not here. It might not be a very healthy thing to do, but to Louis it feels like the only real option. He’s been in the land in-between for only a couple of days by the time he stops talking, but he already feels crazy from being stuck there.

¤¤¤

Louis gets through all of September before he’s on the edge of going mad. His meadow is just not enough to keep him entertained for longer than a minute at a time, and now he’s been here for a whole month. Not even the oak is able to calm him down any longer, so when the tree suggests that maybe he goes seeing Harry, Louis is more than happy for the idea.

He’s not exactly sure he actually likes Harry’s place, as it’s even worse than his own meadow and since there’s not a touch of summer there, but at least he won’t be driving himself crazy if he has Haz to distract him for a while.

There’s even more flowers in Harry’s meadow than in his own, but at least he can calm himself with the fact that Harry’s flowers for some reason is a whole lot sweeter than the ones in Louis’ place. Probably because their season is quite a lot less tempered than he is himself, but who knows? Maybe Harry was just lucky and got the nice company.

“Haz!” he yells out loud, when he can’t immediately spot the curly haired season anywhere in the meadow.

 _He’s not here,_ one flower murmurs.

 _Spring is on a visit,_ another chimes in.

“Where to?” he asks with a frown. Liam isn’t here for another two months and except if they passed each other on their way without noticing, then he can’t be in Louis’ meadow either.

 _Winter is feeling bad again. Hazzy went there in a try to cheer him up,_ a small beech tree says, and Louis can clearly hear the frown in the tree’s voice.

So Niall is feeling bad… again apparently. He’s not sure exactly how that isn’t something he’s heard about before, because both Harry and Liam is usually nice enough to give him an update every once in a while, but never has any of them mentioned that Niall wasn’t feeling as healthy as the last time they saw each other. He wasn’t even aware that they could get _sick,_ for fucks sake.

He takes a decision then, a decision about something he’s always thought he was never gonna do. He decides that he’s gonna pay winter a visit. He’s never been in Niall’s area before just as Niall has never visited him. There’s been this silent agreement that if it was ever necessary for all four of them to meet, then it’d be either in Liam or Harry’s place.

It’s not that he doesn’t know where Niall’s place is, because how could he not as literally thousands of warnings scream inside him for every step he moves closer, but he still uses ten times longer on getting there than he did walking from his place to Harry’s. Then again it’s most like exactly because of those warnings screaming at him that it takes him so damn long. He isn’t supposed to be there. It’s too bloody cold and he has this feeling that if he stays too long then he’s literally going to die from freezing. After all there’s a reason he’s never been there before.

As soon as he puts his feet in the outskirts of the meadow, he stops dead in his tracks. It… It’s so, so beautiful, Louis has literally never seen anything like the meadow. Everything is covered in a deep layer of what looks like white candyfloss, but what Louis assumes must be snow, and from the leafless trees are thick pieces of ice hanging from the branches. It looks like something from a fairy tale, and best of all, Louis can’t see even _one_ freaking flower anywhere in the meadow.

“Are you fucking _stupid,_ ” someone hisses in his ear, and as Louis turns around he’s immediately met with a pair of angry green eyes. Well, hello to you too, Harry, he thinks and rolls his eyes.

“Why do you think I’m stupid now? Please enlighten me,” he grumbles annoyed.

“You can’t be here! Go home before you can cost any damage!”

“I’m not going to do anything, though!”

“You already are,” Harry says, pointing at the ground, and as Louis looks down he watches as the snow beneath his feet melts away and how bright green grass shows.

Louis can’t help but watch it fascinated. Nothing like that ever happens anywhere else. When he finally can force his eyes away from the ground, it’s not Harry’s eyes he catches but a pair of deep blue ones that looks like they hold all the pain in the world. Niall.

“Don’t worry, Ni, I was just telling Louis that he’s needed elsewhere,” Harry says softly, almost like he thinks the blond is going to break in half if they aren’t careful. For some reason Louis can’t help but worry the same thing. The season is as white as the snow surrounding them, and he looks like he’s being haunted by monsters without being able to get any rest.

He can’t even get himself to protest as Harry a bit too roughly pushes him away from the meadow, because Niall gives him the impression that he could break down at every possible second now.

“He can stay for a while longer. If that’s what he wants,” Niall says, voice sharp and cold in a way Louis can’t seem to grasp. How can someone look so broken, but sound like they got everything under control?

Harry stops pushing, and Louis stops moving. Both of them looks at Niall like they aren’t quite sure what to expect. They don’t, or at least Louis doesn’t. He’s honestly not been this confused in ages, and by the look of it, Harry isn’t much better.

“Your place is very beautiful,” he says carefully, not really knowing what to do with himself now he got permission to be there.

“It’s cold and death.” Niall’s face is expressionless, but if Louis isn’t totally wrong there’s a glimpse of curiosity in his eyes as he looks at Louis. 

“Well at least you haven’t got any annoying flowers. Trust me you win.”

Louis doesn’t expect the laughter coming from the blond, but he feels warmer inside than he has done in a long time which doesn’t make any sense at all considered he’s standing in the middle of frozen meadow. There’s something incredible warm about Niall’s laughter though, something Louis doesn’t even know how to begin explaining.

He quirks a smile himself, can’t really stop it from showing in his lips. This was a good idea; no this was a bloody great idea actually. He should have done this long ago instead of staying back the last month feeling sorry for himself.

The laughter disappears almost as quickly as it came, and Niall looks like he himself can’t quite believe a sound like that would ever leave him. “What’s wrong with flowers?” he then asks cautiously, like he isn’t really sure whether or not he’s allowed to ask.

“They’re fucking annoying, that’s it. And rude too. You should have heard how they talked to me when I came back from Earth. Never in my life have I met more evil creatures, I tell you, Neil. Better keep to the trees or the bushes, they’ll be a lot nicer.” He’s babbling and the expression on Harry’s face tells him that the curly haired lad wants to slap him until he shuts up. Niall has this pleased look in his eyes though, that makes Louis want to keep going till he can make the blond laugh again and again. Preferably forever if that was possible.

“I think Louis needs to go back before something bad happens,” Harry says worriedly, eyes locked on the ground around Louis’ feet.

Louis looks down and notices how more and more snow melts in circle around him. The grass looks more alive, and he’s even able to catch a glimpse of what looks like blossoming flowers showing. His pure presence literally changes the meadow, and as he takes another look at Niall, he can see how the lad seems almost sick. The funny thing is that even though it’s Louis who isn’t in his right element then he feels no different than he did in his own meadow or even Harry’s. No it isn’t him who’s getting affected by it, but Niall, which doesn’t make any sense at all.

“I… yeah I just remembered I promised a bird to teach it singing a new song. It was nice seeing you again, though,” he murmurs, more than just a little bit confused and worried.

How in the world did Niall end up like this? Last time they saw each other the blond had been an entirely different person. Now it almost seems like he’s closer to being dead than alive.

“Take care,” he says softly, and to Louis he sounds like he did all those years ago, instead of a clump of ice like he did when he first talked.

His whole body feels numb as Harry quickly pushes him away from the meadow with a call of ‘I’ll be back soon,’ to Niall over his shoulder. Never has he ever felt so confused before, which says a lot considered just how old he is.

As soon as they enter the Harry’s meadow, he stops walking and instead horrified turns towards Harry. “What _was_ that? Why does he look like someone who’s close to dying? How does… no why haven’t any of you told _me_? Don’t I deserve knowing if we’re going to lose winter?”

“We aren’t going to lose him! And we don’t know why. It’d been going on for the last couple of years. It’s almost like the ice has frozen him up inside, which doesn’t make any sense since he’s basically nothing but a piece of ice himself. I think humans would call it depression, but it’s not just that. None of us are able to stay with him for more than a few hours at a time without making him sick. There’s something cruelly wrong with his meadow, because everything seems to make it melt. That’s also why we haven’t told you anything, Lou. We can’t risk your warmth killing him totally,” Harry explains patiently and with a soft voice that in a way makes Louis understand just how serious it actually is more than if he had said it in any other way. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll stay away, I promise.”

“Good, and I promise to keep you updated, alright? Go home now, Lou.”

Harry turns around and takes the walk back to Niall with those as his last words, leaving Louis standing there a little lost. Being alone right now feels even worse than before he visited Niall, because at least then he didn’t feel so helpless.

¤¤¤

Through the next many days, Louis wants nothing but to make his way back to Niall’s meadow. A little desire to do something other than sitting around has been turned on inside him, but he promised Harry that he’d stay away, so instead he’s pestering every living soul in his own area. He’s quite sure that if they were able to, the flowers would have killed him days ago.

What he doesn’t expect, though, because how could he ever, is when he one day not long after the visit notices and uneasy stir in the air. Everywhere around him the voices of plants and animals are fighting to be heard, almost making him deaf in the process. He doesn’t hear Niall as much as he hears the warnings from literally every little creature.

The blond looks even sicker than the last glimpse he got of him.

“Hi,” he breathes out carefully. He stays where he is, sitting with his back against the old oak, and watches as Niall slowly moves closer. The blond doesn’t meet his eyes, but instead curiously lets his eyes move over the meadow.

As soon as he reaches Louis, Niall sits down on the ground with his legs carefully folded beneath him. When he doesn’t say anything, Louis says, “Never thought Haz would allow you to come here. He basically accused me of killing you from being near you for a few minutes.”

“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Niall mutters, still not looking at Louis. “’s probably going to freak out when he can’t find me.”

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be trying to feel better, instead of putting yourself at risk here?” he asks, but there’s not heat behind the words. Of course he wants for nothing bad to happen to Niall, but at the same time he thinks the lad is more than capable to take care of himself, and that also means that he without a doubt will know how his decisions will affect him.

Niall just shrugs, and then finally letting his eyes meet Louis’. They’re dull, and red rimmed in a way he’s only seen on humans before. It’s not that they can’t cry, because Louis is more than proof enough that they can every time he has to leave Earth, but never has it made his eyes look like that.

“Alright then,” he says, and copies the careless shrug Niall just gave him. He keeps the eye contact though, even after a small smile has formed on Niall lips.

None of them says anything after that, and just sit by each other in silence. It’s… it’s actually a lot nicer than Louis would have ever guessed. He’s never been very good at sitting still like this, saying nothing at all, but right in that moment it feels like he could do it forever.

Louis isn’t exactly sure how it happens, but slowly and at the same time all at once he has got Niall’s head in his lap, his fingers gently running through the soft hair. He’s so cold against Louis’ fingers that he almost isn’t able to keep up petting him, but when he sees how at peace Niall looks, he can’t bring himself to care. The season looks almost like he’s sleeping, and who is Louis to disturb the peacefulness from someone who hasn’t been at ease in years.

They’re both quiet for a while, until Louis just can’t keep his mouth shut anymore.

“Did it hurt you? When your meadow began melting?”

For a long while Niall doesn’t answer or show any sign of having heard him, and Louis begins getting a bit worried that maybe the lad isn’t breathing right, but then he softly mutters, “No. It didn’t hurt, but I didn’t quite feel alive either. It… it was almost like… putting a blanket over you. You know, totally hiding beneath the blanket. You’re the only one there, all sounds get a little quieter and maybe it even feels a little harder breathing, but it’s so warm and secure and you really don’t want to take the blanket of? If you know what I mean?”

And really, Louis doesn’t. The concept of being cold enough to need a blanket is so far away from him that the thought of ever willingly cover yourself in them is downright ridiculous. Either way he just nods in agreement, like he actually knows the feeling.

“Do you think you’re gonna be alright again?” he then asks quietly, can’t really get himself do say it in anything but a whisper. In a way he hopes Niall doesn’t hear him, because then he can keep pretending everything is okay, but he also wants to know. Harry says he won’t let anything bad happen, but Louis isn’t stupid. He knows that in the end Harry can’t do a thing, and that it’ll all depend on Niall.

“I don’t know. I’m not even sure I want to be alright. Everything has seemed so dark lately and I can’t help but think how peaceful it’ll be to just stop breathing.”

Louis’ fingers stop moving immediately. His whole body actually freezes for what feels like forever, before he’s able to push Niall away. He’s never been more horrified in his life. Niall’s using… he’s _using_ Louis to kill himself. _Peaceful_ , he says. He’s downright trying to kill himself by letting Louis melt him!  

“No!” he shrieks, and Niall’s eyes become big.

“No, Louis, I didn’t mean it like that. Shit, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it like that! I’m not here to kill myself, please believe that. I just wanted a moment at ease, and to get away from Harry for a bit. I won’t _ever_ try to kill myself, I promise you. It wasn’t what I meant,” Niall says a bit panicked, and tries to touch Louis to calm him down, but Louis doesn’t trust him right now, and he definitely won’t do any more damage than he has already.

“You say you want to die a peaceful dead right after telling me how my company makes you unable to breathe properly. What exactly did you expect me to think?”

“I’m sorry,” he just says, before carefully getting up on his feet. He’s gone before Louis even have the time to react.

¤¤¤

 _He’s moping even worse than before. I don’t know what you did to him, you little shit, but you better come fix it immediately,_ the bird chirps at him, without a doubt not knowing the meaning behind the words since it stays so cheerful through the whole message from Harry.

It must really be bad since Harry was upset enough to talk like that, because Louis honestly doesn’t think he’s ever heard him talk like that, but just because Harry is upset, then he’s quite sure it still will be a bad idea to show up anywhere near Niall right now.

“Tell him to fuck of,” Louis tells the bird, just as the bird continues with, _And you better not tell me to fuck of, or I’m going to strangle you!_

The bird takes off, and leaves Louis alone to think. He’s not sure how much time passes, but he assumes that at least a couple of hours goes by where he argues with himself about whether or not he should go. He doesn’t want to do Niall any more harm, but from the message it sounds like him staying away isn’t doing Niall any good either.

Why he all of a sudden seem to affect Niall as much as he does is so freaking weird. They basically haven’t had any contact to each other at all, both silently agreeing that the risk wouldn’t be worth it, but now Niall’s entire health seems so rely on Louis. It’s such a scary thought that anyone would ever depend on him, especially for something as important as with their lives.

“He better not fucking die when I turn up,” he mutters to himself, and gets up from where he’s sitting on the ground. He can’t even imagine the chaos it’d bring if winter died on them.

He walks slower than he’d usually do, gives himself the time to regret and turn around, but somehow he still finds himself standing in the outskirts of the winter meadow, taking a last deep breath before wandering the rest of the way in there. It’s easy finding Niall, as the blond turns up in front of him only seconds after he enters the meadow.

“I didn’t think you’d come. Harry said you would, but I didn’t believe him.” He tilts his head to the side, looking at Louis hazy eyes, like he can’t quite focus on him right. He’s even paler than last time Louis saw him, which should be impossible. Louis has a hard time believing that it in any way can be healthy to look like that.

Niall is only getting sicker for every day that goes by, he realises that now.

“How are you?” he asks carefully; not actually sure he wants an honest answer to his question.

All Louis gets is a shrug in return, but he doesn’t keep pressing. If Niall had wanted him to know, he had told him, and he realises that maybe it’s better like this. This way they can’t both keep pretending for a moment.

After standing there for a second, he slowly sits down on the ground. Immediately the coldness from the snow makes him want to jump up again, but he fights down the urge and makes a sign for Niall to do sit down in front of him. He holds open his arms until Niall gets the hint and sink into his embrace. The snow around them melts quickly, but the longer Louis sits there the harder it becomes for him to keep the shaking away so Niall won’t notice.

“I’m sorry,” Niall mutters after a while.

“For what, Love?”

“For pretty much forcing you to be here. I know it hurts, and I’m so sorry. Just a minute more and I promise you it’s the last you’ll have to be here. I can handle the pain on my own. You don’t have to suffer too.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” he lies, not wanting for Niall to feel any worse. The thing just is, though, that it actually does hurts, and that more than Louis has ever tried before. He’s never felt so cold down into his bones, and the funny thing of it all is that it almost feels like it burns.

The look Niall sends him, quite easily tells him just how much he doesn’t believe a word coming from Louis’ mouth. Not that Louis really can blame him in the moment, because even he is able to hear how strained his voice sounds.

Louis just squeezes Niall a little closer, and buries his face between his neck and shoulder. Niall sighs in comfort, and that’s all it takes for Louis to forget his discomfort for a moment. It doesn’t stop hurting, but in a way it makes it all worth it.

¤¤¤

“I’m sorry,” Niall whispers as he sinks into Louis arms. He looks so upset that he had to make Louis come to him again, and Louis himself isn’t looking forward to the pain, but he’ll still do this for Niall, even if it might only ease his pain a little.

“Don’t be. I’ll be here every time you need me.”

¤¤¤

Autumn goes by, and Louis spends every single second he possibly can with his arms around Niall. The only time he leaves the season alone is when the pain simply becomes too much and he almost can’t breathe any longer.

Niall tells him to stop coming, says that he doesn’t want to do this to Louis, but Louis doesn’t care. He doesn’t _care_ that he by now probably looks just as bad as Niall did the first time Louis came into the meadow this year, because Niall still looks worse. After days where he has had to stay away, he comes back to a Niall that looks almost dead. That sight hurts more than Niall’s cold could ever do.

Some days when Niall tries to make him smile he’ll teach Louis all kinds of Christmas songs. They’re all really cosy and Louis loves listening to him sing more than anything in the world. It kinda makes him miss Earth even though that to him the songs have no connection to the place. It’s the stories, though, that Niall tells afterwards that makes him want to go there a winter day close to the big holiday. Stories about spending time with family and friends, eating good food giving each other presents, singing lovely songs, playing in the snow and so much more.

Louis has always been jealous of the humans and their ability to stay on Earth all year around, and Niall’s stories just makes him yearn for it even more. They make him smile, though, and Louis counts that as being the most important thing.

It doesn’t take him long either before he’s able to sing along to all Niall’s songs when he begins singing. He loves the sound of that almost as much as he loves just listening to Niall.

¤¤¤

“It’s almost winter,” Niall whispers with a small and weak smile on his lips. He’s curled up against Louis’ side, head resting on his chest. “Only a few days left.”

“Y-yeah. I guess you’re looking forward to it.” His heart feels like it’s clenching inside him, and everything in him scream to never let Niall go. Who’s going to protect him down there, when Louis isn’t able to follow him?

Niall shrugs almost unnoticeable and then after a moment says, “It’s going to be nice seeing Earth again. I’m beginning to think that maybe it’ll be the last time. It isn’t the most important thing in the world, though.”

Louis doesn’t ask him what the most important thing is, and instead just dwells on the fact that maybe Niall won’t survive long enough to see another year. Maybe he won’t even survive long enough to come back to Louis, and he honestly doesn’t know how to handle that thought.

“Don’t say that. You’ll be alright again soon, and you’ll experience so many more winters. Okay?”

“Okay,” he just agrees, but it doesn’t sound convincing to either of them.

“Okay,” Louis repeats, closing his eyes so Niall won’t see right through him. He doesn’t want it to become winter, doesn’t want to ever let Niall go again.

¤¤¤

Louis has never experienced a winter so long and terrible before, but then again he’s never been waiting every second of every day for the possibility of Niall returning to him. The problem isn’t so much that Niall isn’t there, but more that he’s got no idea if he’ll be back when spring begins. No screw that it’s just as much a problem for Louis that Niall isn’t there with him. He _needs_ the lad back in his arms, because right now he’s simply going crazy.

Both Liam and Harry tries to calm him down, but Louis can see that both of them are just as worried as he is himself. He really isn’t sure when exactly the blond came to mean so much to him, but as he’s sitting in his sunny meadow, Louis has never felt more alone.

A week after Niall left, he was totally back to feeling like himself again. All the pain was gone, but that just left him feeling even worse, as stupid as it may sound. It’s been a little over a month when he can’t bear to stay in his own place any longer and instead without a care makes his way to Niall’s. The only problem is that without Niall there it doesn’t seem quite as magical. Beautiful still, but Louis suddenly understands what Niall meant when he said that the meadow was dead.

He sits down on the ground in the outskirts of the meadow, not really comfortable with going fully in there without having Niall beside him. It’s so cold, even colder without Niall, but he doesn’t move from where he’s sitting.

Whether it’s days or only a few hours he’s sitting there, before Harry and Liam turns up with worried expressions on their faces, he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t really care much either. What he does know, though, is that he’s been sitting there too long to fight them when Liam gently lifts him up in his arms and follows Harry back to the warm summer meadow. 

The meadow slowly makes him warmer, but Louis honestly doesn't feel any better because of it. Everything inside him still screams how wrong this whole thing is. How he in some way isn't complete without Niall there any longer. It's all so stupid, really. He has gone centuries without even seeing the lad, but now going three months without him there feels like it's going to kill him.

He cries when two pairs of arms hold him tight. He cries from the loss and the pain of being left here alone. No pain he ever felt when he was with Niall, seemed as bad as how it hurts now.

"He's going to come back, right?" he hiccups, looking at the two others with begging eyes. He needs them to tell him everything is going to be alright, but at the same time he can't help but think that even if they do tell him what he wants to know, then he still won't believe them. How could he possibly when they don't know any more than he does himself?

"I don't know," Harry says, sounding a bit like he wants to cry too.

Louis hadn't even thought about how the two of them must be feeling. After all both of them has spent more time with Niall than he has, and here he is crying his eyes out over someone he's spend two months with. It's pathetic if he has to be honest with himself.

"He'll fight all he can to do so. Niall is strong and has never been one to give up. You just wait and see. In two months he'll be back here and laugh at us for being so worried," Liam says determined.

Louis doesn't tell him about how Niall himself didn't think he'd be back. Doesn't see the point of ruining Liam's last hope.

They sit there the three of them together for hours, and Louis slowly comes to realise that this is probably the most he has ever spend with any of them. Mostly when he's back here he's too busy sulking to give a shit about any of them, and only seeks them out when he begins feeling too lonely in his own meadow.

How he hasn't realised yet how much more satisfying it feels having someone around you all the time, is beyond him. When on Earth he's constantly surrounded by people, and that has always been when he was happiest, but here he has kept to himself and made sure that he was nothing but unhappy in a try to get back on Mother Earth. He realises now that the only one he has ruined anything for, is himself.

They don't say much, just lay there together, comforting each other. It's the best feeling Louis has had since Niall left, maybe even since before Niall left, because at least this doesn't hurt him in any way.

It all become a little easier after that. Louis clings to either Liam or Harry constantly, but it doesn’t seem like any of them mind it. They few times they need a break, they just hand him over to the other, but most of the time all three of them is cuddling together at one of their places. Most often it’s at Louis’ meadow, and he got this feeling that it’s because they’re afraid he has been so much at Niall’s that he’ll end up getting sick too. He understands their concern, but he honestly doesn’t think it’s gonna happen. After all he doesn’t feel sick, doesn’t even feel a hint of might becoming it. He doesn’t say anything about it, though, doesn’t see the point in trying to fight them, when it’d just make them even more worried.

“Did any of you ever try to contact her?” he asks quietly one day in the beginning of February. He’s cuddled together with Haz underneath the big oak in Harry’s meadow. It’d been one of those days where Louis just hadn’t been able to handle the feeling of being stuck at his own place any longer.

Harry turns his head towards Louis, and just looks at him with thoughtful eyes for a while. He doesn’t look confused though, so Louis doesn’t elaborate the question. Without him even having to say it, Harry just knows that he tries to ask if they ever tried to contact Mother Earth about Niall’s sickness.

“We did once,” he says a bit hesitant.

“And?” Louis says impatiently when Harry doesn’t continue.

“She’s gone. We weren’t able to find her, and neither was anyone else. We had birds all over asking around the places we can’t go, but she wasn’t to be found. After a year Niall told us to stop looking.”

“How can she just be gone?” The frown on his face is evident, but he doesn’t exactly do much to stop it from showing either.

Harry pulls a face before answering. “You know just as well as I do, Lou. It isn’t exactly news that she’s a bit… unstable. We tried, but we couldn’t find her. That’s it. We can’t do any more for him. Either he begins getting better on his own, or he won’t get any better at all. I’m sorry to say it like this, but I got this feeling that you were already aware of that and has been for a while.”

Louis doesn’t answer, because of course Harry is right. There isn’t anything they can do for Niall as long as Mother Earth won’t show her face.  Even if she did, then Louis actually isn’t sure she’d be able to do anything about it. They aren’t supposed to get sick and they aren’t supposed to die, but somehow both are still happening to Niall.

“Don’t give up in hope yet, though. Niall isn’t dead and he still got something to fight for. He might not seem like a fighter, but when he puts something to mind, he usually gets it like he wants it. Just keep believing,” he mutters into Louis’ hair, and Louis wants more than anything to believe him, but it’s just so hard when the last memory he’s got of Niall is the boy whimpering as his body was transported to Earth.

“It’s just so hard,” he whispers, and he can feel how Harry nods in agreement.

¤¤¤

Louis isn’t sure whether he’s happy or scared to death as the last days of winter comes and goes. He’s so excited for Niall to be back, but he’s even more scared that maybe he actually won’t make it. Harry is close to crying most days, keeps on saying that he doesn’t want to leave when they don’t know how Niall is feeling. Funnily enough Louis gets it. Never has he ever been so happy that it isn’t summer yet, and that he still got three months until he’ll have to leave Niall again.

“Promise to take good care of him! Make sure he’s still here when I come back please,” Harry sobs into Liam’s arms. He turns to Louis next and just begin crying even worse as he hugs the smaller man tight. All three of them are gathered in the winter meadow, so they’ll be there when Niall comes back.

“Have fun,” he says, trying to make Harry smile just a little before he has to leave.

“I’ll try my best,” Harry promises, eyes still full of tears even though he tries his absolute best to hold them back.

He keeps his arms around Louis till he begins flickering, then he takes a step away, and Louis is able to see his tear filled eyes one last time before he disappears. 

A total of three seconds pass by before Louis sends Liam a worried glance. “Where is he?” he says, the panic slowly increasing inside him.

“I-I don’t know.  I really don’t know, Lou.”

Both of them wander around the meadow for minutes, just waiting for their friend to come home, but nothing happens. At the half hour mark Louis isn’t even ashamed to admit that he cries. He cries his eyes out for the loss of a friend, but not only that. Through the last half year, the place Niall has taken in his heart is so much more than just as a friend. Louis loves him so much that he doesn’t even know how to begin describing his feelings, not even to himself.

“Oh, Lou,” Liam whispers when he sees the tears. He holds out his arms, and Louis doesn’t hesitate even a second before he throws himself into his arms. The sobs only become louder, and he’s having a harder time breathing from each passing moment.

“Am I supposed to take the tears as something good?” a weak voice sounds from behind them. Louis’ head jerks up and he turns toward the sound.

Supporting himself against a frozen tree is Niall standing a couple of feet away. The trip down to Earth only seems to have made him even more sick than when he left which in Louis’ eyes shouldn’t be possible, because already three months ago Niall looked like someone who were only a tiny step away from dying.

He doesn’t think, just pushes Liam away and rushes over to where Niall is standing. He doesn’t touch him, as he’s way too scared that if he does then the boy will fall apart between his fingertips. There’s no way he’d be able to handle that, not now when it seems that Mother Earth herself has given Louis just a little longer with Niall by his side.

“Hi,” he murmurs, fingers itching to reach out and make sure he’s actually really there.

“Hi,” Niall breaths out in return. The lad lets go of his tight grip on the tree and almost falls into Louis’ arms. He doesn’t disappear when Louis touches him, and Louis has never been quite as relieved.

“Fuck.” The sobs start up again, even worse than before and he hides his head in Niall’s shoulder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I t-thought… I thought you were gone. I really thought you were gone.”

“I’m sorry. It was a little harder to get here than I thought it’d be. I am now, though. I’m right here, Lou, right here.”

And, yeah, Louis knows that. He knows that his tears are unnecessary now when Niall is standing in his arms, but for some reason he just can’t seem to stop the tears from running down his cheeks or loud sobs from leaving him.

All he’s able to think over and over again is, _never leave me again, I love you too much._

He mutters something Niall in no way will be able to hear, but he just needs to say it either way. Niall freezes for a second before pushing Louis away from him. “What’d you say?”

“Nothing.”

“ _What did you say, Louis?”_ he asks again, looking at Louis with a cold glance. Louis hasn’t seen him act like this since the end of the summer when they reunited.

“I love you,” Louis then says, voice fierce and with his eyes meeting Niall’s through every second of it.

“No,” Niall says, and Louis doesn’t think he’s ever seen Niall look so displeased.

“I do, though, I love you with all my heart.” The words leave him in a whisper, and he steps closer once again, removing the space between them Niall created by pushing him away. Without thinking he lets his fingers run over Niall cheek. Never has he touched anything as cold as Niall’s skin, and for some reason it now seems colder than ever before. The summer is running hotly inside him, and the contrast between the two of them is as big as anything could get. No matter how cold Niall may be, though, then it doesn’t change the way Louis feels about him.

“We’d never work out and I think you know that too,” Niall mutters, his voice again the soft one Louis has come to know over the last five months.

“Why?”

“Because, my love, I don’t want the cold to freeze you. I took advantage of you for two months to soothe my own pain, but don’t think I didn’t notice what it did to you. I won’t allow that to continue happening.”

“But may…”

“You need the warmth to survive, Lou. Summer is sunshine and hot days. What do you think winter is? If I allow you to stay near me, then I’ll do nothing but to kill you. Maybe it won’t happen, but that’d only be because I would be dead first. Look at me, Louis,” he says when he notices that Louis has turned his head towards the ground to avoid looking him in the eyes. He doesn’t listen, so Niall grips his chin, surprisingly gently, and forces him to do what he wants to avoid. “I’ve been sick for years, and soon we all know I won’t be here anymore. I don’t know if that’s going to be tomorrow or in a year, but it’s happening. It’s _real._ I’m going to die, and I’ve come to peace with that. Let me keep my peace knowing that you’ll be okay.”

He isn’t exactly sure the tears ever stopped running, but after that Louis isn’t sure he’s ever going to stop crying.

“You feel so much and so, so strongly. You laugh your loudest every time you visit Earth, and you get all moody when you have to come back here. I won’t promise it won’t hurt, because I know it will, but you’ll be okay. I’ve never felt a love as strong as yours, and nothing has ever warmed my heart as much as you. I love you with my entire being, but it’s time to let go, because letting go is the only way I can possibly protect you.”

Louis spent two months of his life in Niall’s meadow feeling almost frozen down, but it still doesn’t feel like it in any way can be compared to how he’s feeling now. He can’t move, can’t even make himself breathe properly. He wants to react when Niall for a short second lets his lips brush Louis’, so softly that Louis almost doubts that it actually happened, but he just can’t seem to do so.

Niall disappears after that, leave Louis standing there alone until Liam suddenly stands in front of him. Louis had forgotten that the other season was still there. He had been so quiet and meant so little to Louis when Niall was there to take away his attention.

“Let’s get you away from here, yeah?”

He doesn’t remember the trip back to his meadow, doesn’t even remember when the coldness went over in numbness. He isn’t crying any longer, but that only because he must have run out of tears to sheet. He’s sitting under the old oak, Liam’s arms around him in a tight hug. Never has he felt so alone before.

¤¤¤

Two months, five days, sixteen hours and forty-two minutes, that’s how much time that goes by before a familiar coldness creeps into his meadow. Liam has come and gone to check up on him every once in a while, but every time Louis has just sat there and looked at him with empty eyes. This time, though, he jumps up from the ground and waits impatiently for Niall to reach him.

He’s dying, Louis knows that before he even sees him. It isn’t even only that ‘I’m dying but I don’t know when’ kinda dying. Niall is here to say goodbye now, because it’s actually happening now, and Louis can do nothing to stop it.

Niall ends up standing feet away from him, until Louis gets his shit together and walks closer. He wants to be angry with Niall, but how could he possibly when this will be the last time he’s ever going to see the lad? He doesn’t hesitate letting his arms surround Niall, and Niall doesn’t stop him from doing so.

For a long while it’s quiet between them, but then Niall whispers, “I’m so scared. I’ve tried so hard to be brave, but I’ve never been more frightened in my life. I don’t want to let go.”

“If you hadn’t been scared how in the world could you then have been brave? The two go hand in hand, my dear, and never have I ever met someone as brave as you. You surprise me every time.”

He lets his forehead rest on Niall’s, eyes closed as he that way is able to pretend for just a second that everything will be okay. When he opens them once again the first thing he sees is Niall’s blue eyes. They’re clouded and not as bright as he remembers them to be, but what’s worst is the clear pain and panic he’s able to see in them.

“What do you think will happen with me? Does a season get to go to heaven with the souls of the humans? Or will I just disappear once I’m dead?” he asks, but Louis got no answers. “I don’t want to just disappear.”

“You won’t. No matter what happens then you’ll always be right here,” Louis assures immediately. He takes Niall’s hand and hold it up in front of his heart. “Right here in my heart. In Harry and Liam’s too. Don’t think you’ll ever be forgotten.”

“I just came to say goodbye,” Niall says with a sob, “but here I am, once again using you to soothe me own pain. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Don’t ever be sorry about that.”

He holds him closer, lets everything into that hug, all his love and his grief. He doesn’t say it, because he doesn’t need to. Niall doesn’t say it either, but Louis just knows that the feelings are all mutual and always has been. 

For a while they keep standing there with their arms around each other, until Louis begins feeling the shaking of exhaustion coming from Niall’s body. He helps the blond over to the old oak, and sits down with his back against one of the big roots before pulling Niall down to sit between his legs with his back against Louis’ chest.

Niall asks him, voice weak and hoarse, if he’ll sing for him, so Louis sings. He sings all the Christmas songs Niall taught him all those months ago, that he knows the blond loves more than anything. He sings till his voice is all hoarse, and then a little longer when the pause he takes seem to disturb Niall’s peace.

The time goes by and Louis honestly isn’t sure how long it is. It could have been days, hours and maybe even only a few minutes. It doesn’t matter really, because no matter how long it is, it’s still not enough. One could have thought that Niall was only asleep, but Louis knows the exact moment the sleep becomes final and Niall takes his last breath. The temperature in the meadow rises, and the small patches of snow and ice that had showed alongside of Niall melts and becomes nothing but a memory. 

He stops singing and instead clings to the other boy, fights the tears that presses to fall.

A light as bright as the sun suddenly shows, but Louis doesn’t look up to see what it is, honestly already knows without having to look.

“You’ll have to let go,” she says, voice as soft and sweet as anything Louis has heard ever before.

“Why didn’t you save him?” he chokes out. “How could you not save his life?”

“Time passes and changes need to be made, my child. It was time for Niall to continue on,” Mother Earth gently says. Louis doesn’t think he’s ever despised anyone as much as he does her in this moment. “This is Zayn; he’ll take over Niall’s duty as winter.”

For all of a second he glances up and sees the boy standing behind the Mother. Louis doesn’t know if it was on purpose or not, but this Zayn guy is a total opposite of Niall. Dark hair and skin, hazel eyes and a sly kind of smirk on his lips. If only he could begin to describe how much everything hurts right now.

“What’ll happen to him now?” he asks even though he knows he won’t get an answer. They never do when they ask her anything. When it comes to Mother Earth she’ll either tell you herself or you just won’t get an answer.

“You’ll just have to wait and see won’t you?” she fires back just as he expected her to.

Standing up with his dead lover’s body in his arms must be the hardest thing Louis has ever done. The Mother holds out her arms to take over, but just for a moment longer Louis holds him closer, not quite ready to let go yet. As soon as Niall is in her arms, Mother Earth disappears as suddenly as she appeared, leaving Louis alone with the coldness of the new winter.

¤¤¤

It’s a relief being back on Earth. He doesn’t feel even a tenth of the excitement and joy by being here that he usually would, but it’s still a relief. He’s no longer stuck in the land in between with Liam’s pity and sorrow, and Zayn’s tries to become their friend.

For a couple of weeks, he just wanders around aimlessly, not really knowing what to do with himself. It’s like he can’t even remember what used to make him so happy about being here any longer. He ends up in California, remembers a time it was one of his favourite places.

It doesn’t exactly take long to settle down, as it’s something he’s done so many times before. He got flats all over the world, just as he knows the others do too. It makes it easier whenever they get back here, that they don’t have to start over every year.

It’s a lazy Friday morning when everything changes. He decides to go for ice cream, because the weather is nice and ice cream tastes amazing. Besides he has heard that the new shop two blocks from his flat serves this killer chocolate ice cream, he absolutely has so taste before the summer is over.

He honestly doesn’t really pay attention to anything before he’s standing in front of the cashier. Blond hair and blue eyes on a face he’ll never forget meets him as soon as he looks up at the lad standing there.

“Niall?” he asks shocked, eyes big and wide.

“How’d you kn… oh right the nametag, I’m sorry I always forget about that,” the blond laughs carefree. “Only been here for a couple of weeks, so it’s hard getting used to.”

“I could imagine,” Louis mutters. No matter what he does, then he just can’t get his thoughts straight. How in the world can Niall possibly be here? He’s _dead_ for fucks sake!

“So what would it be then? Between the two of us, then stay away from the chocolate one, it’s really not as great as everyone seem to think. The strawberry is much better, trust me on this one.”

“Y-yeah… yeah okay give me the strawberry then,” he forces out, and the smile Niall sends him is worth it all. Only seconds later he hands over a cone full of strawberry ice cream to Louis, who takes it with shaking hands. Niall tells him the price, and he just hands over the cash without counting them.

“Hey are you okay, mate?” Niall then asks as he hands over the change.

“I’m good. You just really remind me of someone I used to know.”

“Someone good I hope?” he asks with a frown.

“Someone I loved very much. Someone I miss every day.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me [here](http://nialliesmiley.tumblr.com/post/151898143013/summer-love-and-winter-times-niall-horanlouis)


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